An Experience in Surreallity

27 Feb

I had a dream in which I was with several people and was about to go on a hike. I was dressed as though I were going hiking, and I had a backpack with me. I started out wearing one of my Nepalese caps but then somehow ended up wearing a purple stocking cap instead (one that I don’t have in this reality). At the end of the dream, I (or somebody) said, “You meet so many people. Do you ever lose yourself?”

Then the phone rang, and I woke up. I reluctantly got out of bed and went to the living room. According to the caller ID, the caller was WIGGET S and the phone number began with my area code, 503. It’s true that my mother is also WIGGET S, but her area code is 219. Perhaps I was psychically calling myself.

You meet so many people. Do you ever lose yourself?

It’s ironic, since I’m a very self-centered person with a strong core personality, so that dream doesn’t seem really appropriate for me. Far from forgetting myself, I incorporate some aspects of myself into every protagonist (even if it’s as subtle as certain emotional reactions I’ve had to situations that might be vaguely similar), and sometimes even into characters who aren’t the protagonist. Furthermore, I have a very strong sense of self and am very much aware of what my beliefs are, what my perspective is and what my view on the world is like. So it doesn’t seem like an appropriate question to address to me.

Far from forgetting myself, I end up getting impatient while working on a character chart because I’m not good at thinking about things from different perspectives. This is something I’m working on with Woodland Castle—I’ve got different characters’ perspectives, very different perspectives, and I’m trying to be open-minded in that respect. I’m tempted to say that Katarina is the character who’s most like me…she’s certainly my favorite character and the one I find most interesting (that’s why I’ve used her for the second time, never mind that her name was slightly different in “Princess and Frog”).

However, I do know people who are extremely inconsistent and don’t have a strong sense of self. One of them has extreme borderline personality disorder and seems like a different person from time to time. The other is a sort of chameleon, a social climber who pretends to be someone else depending on the social circle in any given moment. Both of these people (whom I no longer think of as friends) seem to fluctuate in their opinions from time to time.

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