National Moron Behind the Wheel Day

13 Nov

Yes, today, November 13, 2012, is officially National Moron Behind the Wheel Day (NMBWD).

When the highway ramp has the prominently displayed and bright red “Form Two Lanes”  sign on, that means that–gasp!–the traffic is supposed to form two lanes. It does not mean form one line. Nor does it mean that when the one driver who actually knows how to drive in the state of Oregon makes a slow and cautious attempt to squeeze in next to your (gratuitously large and gas-guzzling) vehicle, that this is your cue to nearly sideswipe that vehicle and suddenly go forward and occupy the very center of the ramp. No, it means form two lanes.  Furthermore, it means that when the above-mentioned driver is attempting to follow the rules and drive next to you, move over.

And one more thing: don’t drive (particularly in lighter traffic) as though your car is a butt-sniffing dog.

Remember: Form two lanes.

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