Archive | May, 2013

I Sympathize with Absent-Minded Professors

29 May


My dad will have open-heart surgery next month, and I’ll be taking care of him, particularly driving him around and working on the house and yard. Perhaps the stress of this impending experience is adding to my discombobulation.


16 May

Qwest-is-now-Centurylink has proved that no matter how many times I call, they continue to pretend I owe them money.


Centurylink disconnected my service on March 26, at about the same time that I went through a pile of snail mail and found a bill for $107. I promptly paid the bill right before the service was disconnected.


On April 5, I found another bill from Centurylink, this time claiming that I owed $40. I paid that immediately. Afterwards, I kept checking my Internet on my laptop computer, and every time I did this I saw a message on my screen in which Centurylink claimed I hadn’t paid my bills. This is a false accusation. For three weeks, I repeatedly attempted to log onto the Internet, every time seeing a message claiming I couldn’t use the Internet because I hadn’t paid my bills, even though my bills were completely paid off as of April 5. This went on till April 23, when I finally called up (on my smart phone, the only phone I have used since December) and ended my Centurylink account.


Long after my account was completely paid off (on April 5), Centurylink still refused to reconnect my service.


On the same day that I ended my account (5/23), I received another envelope from Centurylink. For obvious reasons, I didn’t feel inclined to open it. Two days later, I opened it: a bill for $35, for Internet service I never had. Centurylink disconnected my service, refused to reconnect it, and kept pretending I hadn’t paid; afterwards they pretended I had Internet service that entire time, and they even billed me for Internet service I never had. Every attempt I made to log onto the Internet proved futile: I have had no Internet service from Centurylink since March 26.


I called Centurylink yet again, two days after I called and made it quite clear that I don’t owe anything and that I’m closing the account. I discovered that the account was still “live” and that it claimed I owe $35: another false accusation. While the customer service representative was on the phone with me, she put me on hold to go check something…and the phone hung up while I waited.


During a second call, I thought I finally resolved everything. I spoke with a different representative, one who seemed to promptly take care of everything. He claimed that the records really will show that I no longer have an account and do not owe $35. He furthermore claimed that I should disregard the last bill and that I shall receive a credit in the mail.


Going through another stack of mail, I just opened not a credit, but in fact a completely inexplicable bill from Centurylink. Now they’re pretending I paid a portion of the $35 that I “owed” for nonexistent service, and they’re pretending I owe twenty-five dollars. I don’t owe Qwest-is-now-Centurylink any money whatsoever, and I would not be in the least surprised if in fact Centurylink owes me money.


15 May

I was a thick book of bold handwriting, until

you showered me with a relentless onslaught

of contempt, judgments, and criticism.

I am drenched with my own inadequacy.

I shrink into the size of a scrap of paper

that could fit in your pocket.

I realize I’m selfish to complain, but

I don’t recall signing up to endure this downpour of spite.