Anxiety Dream Reminiscent of the Past

21 Aug

Before the noise of a power saw rudely awoke me, I was having a dream in which I had a much more professional-looking wardrobe and was running late for work and having a horrible time trying to figure out what to wear. Strangely, all the clocks in my apartment—even my cell phone (and I had the same cell phone)—were blank, not telling the time, after I realized that I was probably running late. The only one that has last worked before I made that realization was my cell phone.

So there I was, frantically going through a rack of clothing. There were a lot of blazers, especially black ones (I even found a couple that were black corduroy, one with a shawl collar), and I decided to wear my rayon challis navy blue and green pinstriped jumper (which I actually have in this reality), but I couldn’t find anything appropriate to wear with it. It was summer, so I didn’t want to wear one of those knit shirts (let alone the turtleneck) that in this reality I typically wear with that jumper. I kept coming across either blazers or soft, diaphanous blouses in a print that contrasted with the jumper. In this reality I like mixing prints, but with the wardrobe in the dream that didn’t seem to be an option.

One of these diaphanous blouses was red with large, bold white or peach flowers. Another was a somewhat dark mauve with a similar pattern to that, and it wrapped around and tied on the side like a Thai or Tibetan or Nepalese blouse. I couldn’t seem to find a blouse that was simply a plain black or navy blue or green—that would have been appropriate for the jumper. Maybe I would have decided to not wear the jumper—it’s hard to tell, since the racket woke me up a little bit before 8:30 am.

In the past, when I had jobs that certainly gave me regular paychecks but also chipped away at my confidence and self-esteem, I certainly did have mornings like that, when I went through my closet trying to find something to wear.

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