Humbug!

2 Dec

This morning, I went to Burnside Powell’s Books in order to sell some used books and get store credit. If you have a car and bring many books, this typically involves turning into the entrance of Powell’s own garage and stopping in order to take the boxes or bags of books out of the car. This time, I had two bags, one of which had spilled earlier in traffic. Therefore I not only stopped and put my car in park—I also proceeded to dig books off the floor of the back seat and put them into the cloth shopping bag.

The parking garage does not have an elevator, so the purpose of putting boxes or bags of books by the ticket booth is so that you don’t have to carry them down several flight of stairs.

Today, while I gathered up my books and put the bags by the ticket booth, I had several distressing encounters.

The driver behind me yelled, “Are you going into the parking garage?” (What the frack do you think I’m doing?) A jerk walking by loudly said, “Lord have mercy!” I spontaneously replied, “Lady have mercy!” right before closing my car’s back gate. A man with an old woman using a walker stood glaring at me by the time I started getting back behind the steering wheel.

I hate aggressive, impatient, Type A people. Last season, I’d talked extensively with a friend about how aggressive and impatient and rude shoppers are during the month of December. Holiday spirit, my foot. Just because these fools are crass, über materialist, aggressive and impatient shoppers doesn’t mean that they’re entitled to bully me or other sane people. It’s not my fault they’re such shallow fools. They clearly don’t know anything about Winter Solstice.

I admit that I do give Solstice gifts. However, I purchase and make gifts throughout the year. I see something and it reminds me of someone, so I get it for them. Furthermore, I also give away things that I already own (I’m a borderline hoarder), and I make gifts. I do not max out credit cards in December. I do not harass other people every time I set foot in a shop in December.

I should avoid all stores for the remainder of the month, unless I’m grocery shopping. I’m not getting through December without pomegranates.

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