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Disturbing Dreams

31 Aug

I dreamed I was a spy in a city. I was a pedestrian on a street corner, across the street from a big, post-modern glass building. I stood looking casual and watching the crowd walk by…but watching specific people. Many people walked by, not only on the sidewalk but also right through the street itself; there were no vehicles, only pedestrians.

I waited for just the right moment and was watching a tall and slender woman (she looked something like Tilda Swinton) and at least one other person. They were among the people who were sort of dancing in the street. The woman made eye contact with me once, or at least looked at me, so I worked harder at exuding indifference and blending in.

When a tall and slender male spy who was my coworker casually, slowly, crossed the street through the crowd, I waited a beat and crossed the street.

Inside the glass building, it looked like a library. The walls were lined with books. In a far corner, I approached a very tall ladder. Just above the ladder was a loft with more books, and a petite young female friend of mine was up on that loft and looking through books.

A very professional-looking woman in what I think was a dark blue 1950s skirt suit was walking by in nearly the center of the room, and she sternly said, “She can’t be up there!” She was loud, and I knew she was talking to me about my friend. I didn’t comment, just stopped in the corner and looked at the ladder and up at her. I felt shaken up by the stern woman’s comment, and I felt very nervous not only because of her but also because of this friend, whose personality was similar to the Worst Frenemy in the Galaxy, at least in her disregard for rules and her arrogant belief that they didn’t apply to her and she could do whatever she wanted.

She glanced down at me and spoke…but I couldn’t hear her. I realized she was behind glass. I looked up at her nervously and quietly said that the woman said she couldn’t be up there, but I doubted she could hear me. I had no idea what to do. She was sitting on the floor of the loft, sitting with knees bent and books lying around her and one open in front of her. She wore a brown tweed pencil skirt and a white knit top. Her outfit also looked 1950s.


Later, I was in dreaming that I was in a living room with a guy and maybe a woman. There was a white couch on the side, and someone was already seated at one end of it, and she was reading, and I joined her with a book I was reading, a biography of a Hollywood celebrity, a very unusual book for me. The guy (tall, white, wearing a suit) was standing over me and condescendingly criticizing me for reading such a frivolous book, about a celebrity.

I explained that if the subject of the biography weren’t famous, nobody would read her book, because they wouldn’t know about her…of they wouldn’t recognize her and therefore be interested in the book. He was standing over me, and I think I perched on the arm of the chair instead of the seat. Or maybe I eventually moved to a seat cushion.


I don’t think this was the same dream as the one with the glass building.

I was with a young woman who was a very close friend with whom I spent a lot of time, and I think we were walking around inside a large building, perhaps a mall or a department store like Macy’s.

She was talking and talking and talking more or less nonstop, in a monologue. I felt ill at ease, although she was in a good mood and I don’t think she verbally abused me at all throughout the dream. However, she was a lot like the Worst Frenemy in the Galaxy in her personality. She tended to be volatile, often changed personalities and would out of the blue be showering me with verbal abuse, so I was very ill at ease and kept expecting that to happen. I was walking on eggshells, as I so often was with her…although never sufficiently. She frequently managed to catch me unawares.

Homeowning and Social Media

25 Aug

I dreamed that even though I had a big house (that included an apartment) in SE Portland, I decided to get an apartment in NE Portland. They were both about a hundred years old and really quaint, and I was working on home improvements. The apartment was mostly painted white and pale blue inside. In the new apartment, I wondered if this was a good idea and found myself starting to regret it, since I already had an entire house and it seemed excessive to have more than one place.

I dreamed I had a big, cluttered basement and was decluttering it. There was a ping-pong table, and a few things on top of it. I had a large screen, like for a projector, and what looked something like credits was rolling downward on the screen.

On the projector, I noticed something that looked like a letter from the Wizarding world of Harry Potter. It said “Dear Skye… [last name I forget].” I exclaimed about it–that I had a magic name I didn’t know about–and Jill was there, urging me to write it down and saying something about how she got her magic name and found out its meaning after writing it down.

I scrambled to find something to write on and with. I thought I had a pen on the ping-pong table, but it was some elaborate calligraphy contraption I’d had since the 1990s and it was probably dried up, even if I could remember how to use it.

By the time I found pen and paper, the letter was no longer scrolling on the screen, and I couldn’t find that name.

I went to some sort of Harry Potter shop–maybe part of an amusement park. It was inside what looked like the hallway of a modern building, and it had dark tile. There were some tables with toys and figurines on them for purchase. I thought, “Why is it whenever Goodreads on Twitter as is what you’re reading, a bunch of people say “Harry Potter? Bloody read something else!”

I approached a cash register, with a young woman behind it, and I noticed a set of little cat figurines that were mostly pink. I was fascinated and rearranged them a bit.

I never did find again that name and write it down.

I wonder…was the dream about wanting to know myself better? Was it about how I’ve had so much trouble getting to know myself because narcissists and sociopaths have always been around to gaslight me and tell me who I “am”?

Dinosaur Man

31 Jul

I dreamed that I was out in the woods. I got lost at some point, wandering away from my campground. I think someone hostile had scared me away, and I figured if I went back too soon, they’d still be there. So after wandering in a confusing direction, I looked out over a slope that was quite beautiful, and I thought: the Shire. I stepped forward from the path and into the field and reached into my pocket to get my camera phone, but it was gone. To my dismay, I realized I left my phone behind. For a second, I considered going back for it…and changed my mind.

I kept walking across the field. As I came closer to what looked like a dense forest straight ahead, I saw a path into it to the right and recognized that entrance. I knew where I was!

Someone was coming after me, running across the field. He looked like a dinosaur with a man’s body, or a man with a dinosaur’s head. He wore blue jeans and a pink t-shirt. I panicked and ran.

We reached the opening at just about the same time, and there was the path and a little wooden bridge before me. He smacked his back against a right-side wall and growled, and I growled back…until I realized he was just some guy in a fake dinosaur head.

The path before me resembled that of a science museum, despite my just being in the wild. I no longer felt fearful and walked along the path.


I dreamed I was one of about three people visiting a tall and skinny guy in his 60s. The imagery in the dream, even when we were talking with the guy inside his house, kept going back to the narrow, curved street he lived on. It appeared to be just off the highway. The houses, on the left, were up on a slope and very close to each other. I was telling him that while house-hunting, I avoid streets like this, because I want to live in a place where it’s not difficult to find a parking place. This street was definitely not one of those places. To the left, below the houses, no stop cars were parked.

The dream ended with a whole bunch of cars and motorcycles departing simultaneously and thus many parking places becoming available.

Dreams about Publishing and Education

29 Jul

I had a dream in which I was speaking with someone who was passing me a package that was probably a manuscript. That person said, “We want to publish _Barbaric Invasion _.”

After waking, I was aware that I’ve barely begun that novel. Also, that’s a working title that I’ll probably replace with something better.


I dreamed I was a college student and had some confusion during a class. An instructor announced a special project we would be doing that afternoon. If sounded interesting but daunting.

Later, I was running around getting errands done and realized that I was running late for the class that involved that project. I wasn’t even sure where we were meeting.

I think that was the same dream involving a somewhat dark and huge room containing gothic revival furniture. Benches with red velvet padding and dark wood that formed arches. There were much smaller, similar pieces of furniture that were alters, I knew, and one of them contained dollhouse miniatures, including a bed.

House Dream

25 Jul

I dreamed that I lived in a big old Craftsman house, one of those tall rectangular ones. I went out into the front yard for some reason, and some random young woman going past (walking? Or biking?) scowled at me and gave me the finger. I had no idea, but I said to myself, “Okay, I’d better hurry up and get the fence and gate set up.” It was weird and random, and she didn’t even seem like a neo-Nazi or anything like that—just a bully, I guess. But she did give me that feeling of being unsafe and needing to hurry up with the fence and gate.

I looked around and realized that I was actually on the corner in front of the house next door rather than directly in front of my house. Who knows, maybe she had a grudge against my next-door neighbor. But it was still creepy and made me anxious to get back inside and hide from the world.

Next, I was entering the house, and there was a little front room—actually, more like a back exit room than a front hall—where several real estate signs were propped up against the wall. It was the first time I’d noticed them, and I started to look through them.

In this reality, I thought I was going to get a fence and driveway gate really soon and even measured for it, but some other home improvements have proved to be more urgent.

Dream involving India and Dodos

20 Jul

I dreamed I was visiting India. (It’s been a decade since I was last there.)

There was an airport scene in which I saw a whole bunch of Indian people wearing traditional orange clothing, and I felt bad that I wasn’t wearing something more Indian; I was in winter clothes, including a beret.

Later, in India, I was at the edge of a lake, as were a great many people. The lake (or pond) was surrounded by dark, tall, skinny trees, and I kept looking beyond them at the brown water. I may have seen animals in or near the water. Most people were looking in the opposite direction, perhaps at flying kites. Anyway, I was near an extremely skinny old man in a dhoti and white t-shirt. Just beyond him was a young woman (30s?) and a small child to whom she was speaking. I was eavesdropping and may have butted in with as question.

I was working on a craft project: sewing intricate little things such as beads and bits of lace onto a red hat. It was all found items that I added to the hat. I think–maybe earlier—I was admiring someone else’s craft project, perhaps a gown practically covered in beads.

At the edge of the trees surrounding the lake, right in front of me, was a simple white sign that had several sentences in neat black handwriting. One of the lines was: “Site of the last dodo.” I was utterly fascinated by this and had no idea dodos existed in India (they didn’t) and wanted to know the story behind that. I asked the old man, but he seemed scared that I spoke to him, so I turned to the young woman, but she was deep in conversation with the child, and after the old guy’s horrified reaction, I felt too shy to speak to anyone. I resumed focusing on my craft project.


17 Jul

I dreamed that I worked in an office: a large room full of rows of long, dark brown tables where numerous people sat with a comfortable amount of space between them. I approached a supervisor at a table in the front of the room, and there were some boxes. She assigned me a project: I had to complete toy mice or something like that, which someone else had started.

She showed me a box of partially done projects that included calico cloth dolls in a variety of colorful patterns and shaped like gingerbread cookies; there was more bright and colorful calico, to make clothing for these dolls, which were not stuffed.

While I was standing before the manager and getting projects and looking at other projects, Jon (from Sagebrush) was also there, and she assigned him a project. Each of us returned to our table, which we shared with at least one more person.

Getting paid to do crafts? Now that’s a job I’d enjoy!